A very dear friend of mine is, in my opinion, a bit of a psychic. She has had numerous dreams over the years which have provided comfort and answers. Recently, she told me of a very short dream she had about Libby. She described a scene where Ethan and Charlie were on the floor playing with Libby, and I was watching them. However, I could not see Libby. Ethan insisted, “She’s right here, mom. We’re playing with her.”

At first, I was disappointed. Why couldn’t I see my baby girl? I am her mommy, after all. And I couldn’t understand what message, if there even was one, that this dream wa sharing.

Then, a few days later, as Ethan was revising his millionth list for Santa, it hit me. This dream is about Christmas and believing in its magic. It is the children who believe: in Santa, flying reindeer, and the amazing ability to travel to every home in the world in one night. They believe. That is why Ethan and Charlie could see Libby and play with her. Her spirit is real, present, and patiently waiting for an open heart to see and embrace her.

So while this year I felt satisfied that Christmas preparations were completed early, there was the same familiar emptiness. There are no gifts for a five-year-old girl under our tree, but there should be. And, more than anything, there was the emptiness in our lives, our home and our mind and hearts. It is the same heavy emptiness that visits with each holiday and anniversary. However, this dream has gently taught me that the emptiness is not really a vacant space. Libby is here. I may not be able to see, touch or hear her, but she is here. I just have to believe.

Wishing you and yours a magical holiday season.

Not quite getting the hang of a kazoo. If only deep puddles of drool would make that thing work!

Oh my…how she does completely adore that big brother of hers!

And a toddler belly peeking out. Need I say more?!!?

Charlie must do everything her big brother does. But in her own way, of course.

click here to check it out

[Ethan yelling out the door to me as I am shoveling]

Hey Mom! I need help with the computer.
What do you need?
I answered all the multiple choice questions, but I don’t know how to answer the ones where I have to type stuff in.
What are you talking about?
On the computer. I need help answering some questions.
What kind of questions?
On this website I found.
What website?
I found one that sells excavators.
What?!?!
Excavators.
Ethan, exit out of that site. We are not buying an excavator!
But mom…
[interrupting] No, Ethan. Exit out right away! We are never going to buy something like an excavator.
But Mom…..how are we going to build the diamond mine in our backyard without an excavator?!!?

The light was low and they were wiggly, so a bit out of focus. But I love them anyway.

Charlie, the always over-eager helper, was put in charge of putting ornaments on the bottom branches. Apparently, the understanding of the relationship between ornament weight and branch strength doesn’t come until later.

And, Ethan, just because my face is behind the camera doesn’t mean I can’t see you!

When we went into her room and saw this:

We couldn’t help but think of this: